The Cycle and the Date
by cgaussie01
Summary: Roxanne, sick of people always assuming she and Metro Man being a couple, finally asks the man out for drinks. Maybe there is something there that she hasn't been able to see before? Or is it all a waste of time and effort?


The days after a kidnapping from Megamind was always a strenuous time for Roxanne Ritchi. There were photographs always taken by the media after her initial rescues, Metro Man forever at her side and sometimes even grasping her protectively in his protective embrace, and in his other hand was (nine times out of ten) the super villain Megamind still struggling in a feeble attempt to get free and run away to wreck havoc on the city again. No matter when he got away, people knew that the wrecking would commence and the game would start all over again.

Those photographs adorned news stands, as well as web blogs, and Roxanne groaned at those who cited the fact that Metro Man had once again rescued his 'lady friend'. Some places had the gall to go so far as to call her his girlfriend, him her heroic boyfriend, and there were even some blogs online that seriously argued just what kind of physical relationship they had.

She remembered turning red in the face from both embarrassment and anger at one blog which had decided to go into great detail over the prospect as to whether or not an ejaculation from Metro Man would go through her spine like a bullet. Wouldn't his hips be like jackhammers against her crotch? How is it that she didn't walk funny permanently? Roxanne had hurled her laptop out of the window in sheer frustration, only to suddenly realize she just destroyed her laptop. Turns out warranties don't cover fits of rage and they didn't replace it for her at all.

A whole hard drive, lost.

All because of that stupid, ugly little rumor that she and Metro Man were a couple. Just what had started it, in the first place? Because Megamind had made a habit of kidnapping her every other week, and Metro Man was the one to always save her? Or was it because it was only Metro Man who dare stand up to Megamind in order to both thwart his plans, save the day, and save the girl? It was like a vicious little cycle. Would Metro Man be saving anyone else if Megamind kidnapped them, or was he exclusively only interested in saving her? Was it a publicity stunt? An attempt to boost his popularity? No, that couldn't be it. Why would he want to be more popular than he already was?

He was _Metro Man_, defender of Metro City! Why would he want to get more famous?

"I mean, god. Look at you." she sighed as she picked up the latest news paper that had been placed on her desk. Metro Man adorned the cover, grinning as always with that sparkling smile. Megamind, flung over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes, was kicking his legs and waving his needle thin arms in an obvious sign of rage at yet another plan ruined. "You've got the eyes, the face, the body build, that great hair... even if you weren't a super hero women would be falling all over you..." Roxanne mused as she set the paper down on her desk and looked down at it, supporting her chin in her hands. "Probably a date every single night..." she mused.

He was so handsome, people in the city literally threw themselves at his feet when he showed up somewhere. They hero worshipped him, rightfully so, but you couldn't deny that if he was an ugly little bugger like... say... Megamind, she highly doubted women would be so keen to thank him or praise him. So why was it that the majority of the women in the city found him so drop dead gorgeous yet she couldn't? Was it because she only saw him as a hero, and nothing else? All the time she had known this man of invulnerability he had been rescuing the city, and then herself. He would swoop in at the last minute, pull off some amazing fete and save her from certain... well. Pain? Uncomfortableness? Megamind was never out for blood, because if he was no doubt he'd just use one of his deadly weapons and make it just deadlier.

She rubbed at her ear lobe as she looked at the image of him. Roxanne forced herself to peel back the layers. To 'forget' who Metro Man was. To put aside the cape, his witty banter, the never ending stream of abilities he seemed to hold, and saw just the man. That strong jaw, arched nose, bright eyes and the curl of his hair. His physique was harder to forget though, because without powers he just... looked like a body builder of some sort. That expanse that he called his chest, his thinning middle and the six pack withheld under his clothes.

Okay, he was handsome... and he was single, that much she knew to be true. No woman would literally ask him out, since they all believed him to be Roxanne's. Hence why no men even dare approach, or even flirt, with Roxanne besides Hal. But he was a little too creepy for her own sake so she took him as a pinch of salt. Just another fan who liked watching her, only he got to actually shoot her with his camera as she worked. But none of them made actual moves on her; no man walked up to her and asked her to go out for drinks, or a dinner. Needless to say Roxanne hadn't had a good roll in the hay since college.

So in a move that was both an experiment, and an attempt at finally getting some, Roxanne picked up the phone. It rang a few times, and a familiar voice answered.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Metro Man!" Roxanne declared, suddenly feeling very young and inexperienced all of a sudden. Like the years had peeled back and she was twelve years old trying to ask out Timmy Woodrow all over again.

"Roxy!" he greeted back, before a serious tint lined his voice. "You aren't kidnapped and you've managed to sneak in a phone call are you?" he asked.

"Hah, no, no. I'm in my office. Quite un-kidnapped thanks..." she laughed, pushing a stray hair behind her ear.

"Oh good. So, what can I do you for Roxy? Need another one on one interview for the news?" he asked.

Roxanne rolled her eyes. "No, nothing like that. Look I was just wondering if... uh, if you'd like to just catch up?" Roxanne posed the question as casually as she could. "You know we've been… um, knowing each other a while now but we've never really sat down and enjoyed each others company without a blue megalomaniac being thrown in the mix."

She could almost hear the gears in his head turning before he answered. "Sure, Roxy! That sounds like a great idea, Lord knows I'd need a small break. Course you realize if any trouble happens around us I'll have to go help out right?"

"Oh, of course. Of course. You're the defender of Metro City after all!" she replied, suddenly hoping that the 'meet up' would go off without a hitch. Or without a kidnapping. Last thing she needed was for a bank robbery to happen or a stolen vehicle to go driving past them. They easily arranged a time and place to meet, and Roxanne hanged up the phone and sat at her desk, suddenly feeling... nervous? Were those butterflies in her stomach? "Oh guys come on, really?" she asked herself.

The butterflies only flew faster.

~*~

She sat at the restaurant, tapping her finger against the table top. Like any woman she had spent hours in front of her mirror, trying on dress after dress. It had to be classy, not too showy, but still professional. Obviously it shouldn't be something she had presented in on the television and in the end she had ran out to a near by shopping complex to find a new dress. She found it in a multi colored pattern of blacks, reds, yellows, blues, greens and others in a pattern that reminded her of alternative art. With a thick black belt around her middle it completed the image, and she wore simple black heels upon her stocking clad feet. The dress went down past her knees before flaring out, so if (heaven forbid) she was kidnapped and flown somewhere tonight no cameras would see up her skirt too easily.

Roxanne wondered just what Metro Man would wear. If he showed up in his white outfit she would burst into hysterics for she'd never seen him in anything _but_ that outfit. Sure he had changed his design a few times but it was always white and gold, his token colors. Sighing she looked at her small watch on her wrist, and smiled to see it was a few minutes to their agreed time.

Suddenly she felt a presence of somebody standing besides her and she glanced up and jumped. It was Metro Man, right on time, and thankfully not wearing his white and gold costume. Instead he was wearing a casual suit, of course it was an egg-shell white color with a deep golden tie. The shirt, however, was black which was an interesting color to see the man wearing. "Weren't waiting long, were you?" he asked with a quirk of his eyebrow and an easy smile.

She laughed, despite herself, and got to her feet and smiled at him. "No, in fact. I'm not the type to show up super early to anything anyway." Roxanne smiled before tilting her head to the side slightly. "You're looking good, black suits you."

"Yeah I don't wear it that often. You know. Image and what not." he admitted with a smile before holding out her chair as she began to sit. Touched by the gesture Roxanne was sure she felt a blush spread to her cheeks, no doubt making her freckles more obvious, and sat. She thanked him as he moved to his own seat. Surprisingly, he wasn't being leaped upon for autographs, or photographs. Were people in this city so simple minded they couldn't see a hero when he was sitting in a restaurant? He wasn't even wearing a disguise, yet people weren't looking at him twice.

A cape obviously affected ones image more than she thought.

"Wow." she heard herself say.

"Hm?" he asked.

"Oh uh. I just half expected everyone to jump on you." she admitted, glancing around.

"My disguise is obviously working." Metro Man smirked proudly before picking up the menu. Roxanne gave him an odd look, trying to decipher if he was being sarcastic or honestly believed the fact he wasn't wearing his costume counted as a 'disguise'. At least Megamind went to the extreme of disguising both himself and Minion in most of their missions, though the fishes disguises sometimes weren't nearly as amazing as Megamind's. Scowling at herself, she questioned why her mind had suddenly gone to Megamind. He was a part of her life already, a part she didn't particularly enjoy but tolerated, why think about him on a date?

Is that was what this was?

"Are you both ready to order?" asked a waiter as he approached them, holding a pad of paper. He glanced at Metro Man, as if trying to work out just where he'd seen this man's face before. It obviously didn't come to him since he looked to Roxanne.

The two of them ordered their meals and the man left them to place them. Roxanne chewed at her bottom lip, and wondered what they could talk about. There were some good movies coming out soon, maybe they could talk about their favorite types? She was just opening her mouth when Metro Man spoke first, cutting her off. "So can you believe it's been four days and Megamind's still in jail?" he asked.

"Oh, uh. Yeah that is a little unlike him." she admitted, taken back that he would pick that subject to talk about.

"That isn't like him at all." Metro Man mused as he stroked at his chin with his hand. "I've checked in with the Warden and according to the cranial scan monitoring system they built outside his cell he hasn't had any more brain activity than usual so he isn't planning an escape any time soon... but still. I'm worried. Whenever he's quiet for too long that normally means he has something really big in the works. Remember his first attack on the town?"

"How could I forget?" she asked with a shrug. "That was before you had become a hero, though." Roxanne had been in middle school when blue blob people had oozed out of taps, shower heads, and drainage pipes to wreck havoc on the city. Somehow Megamind had created them, and unleashed them. Luckily it turned out they weren't susceptible to water and a well timed rain storm had melted them to slush and had been flushed away like the filth they were. Back then Metro Man had still been Wayne Scott, incredibly rich teenage son of Lord and Lady Scott. He hadn't lifted a finger to help at all.

"Yes but it was that attack that made me realize the purpose behind me being here. That it was to help the little people, and ensure their lives were safe from that heinous deviant's activities." Metro Man said, slamming the table but didn't cause it to go flying, or break. Despite his large amounts of strength, the man knew how to be gentle, tender and kind if needed be.

"And the city's very thankful." Roxanne said with a smile, but withheld the urge to say 'and I'm thankful too' since it seemed common knowledge. Even if he did save her, she knew it was because of him that she was kidnapped by the blue man constantly. She suddenly wondered just what Megamind would do with her if Metro Man didn't come in to save her. Would he really kill her? She doubted it, since she had interviewed killers in her job and Megamind was no murderer. He was just like a little kid after attention, and got it any way he could, as long as it made him appear to be a bad guy.

"Well who else would stand up to Megamind?" Metro Man asked.

"I'm sure somebody would, if you weren't around..." Roxanne mused quietly.

"Then that's just foolishness." he replied with a scoff.

She frowned slightly. "Foolishness? How is it foolishness to tackle an adversary who is seeking to destroy the city?" Roxanne asked.

"Because Megamind is beyond the scope of any normal human being." Metro Man pointed out. "His brain is moving ten times the speed of a normal human being. He's got a gun, Roxanne, that dehydrates people. That swarm of Brain Bots at his disposal are a terror in of themselves. How could a person, even a policeman armed with a gun, come up against that sort of thing and come out of it unscathed?"

"I do it every day, practically." Roxanne said dryly.

"But you're not a threat to him." he said as calmly as he could. "He just picks you up because... because... well I don't know why. But he does."

"Shouldn't you know the reason why he keeps kidnapping me?" Roxanne asked, feeling a little angry now.

"Shouldn't you?" he asked back, looking confused. "You're the star news reporter, aren't you?"

"Technically you may be right but you two have been rivals long before I became part of the equation. Shouldn't you have a deeper understanding of him?" by now the butterflies had all since dropped dead in her stomach now, and were weighing her down into an unhappy place.

Metro Man gave a weak shrug. "He's just always been like this. Even in school, when I first met him. Megamind was always causing trouble. He set _fire_ to the place, Roxy. He even did property damage! Some people are born bad, some good, and others just want to watch the world burn."

"Even so I can't really believe somebody is born bad." Roxanne heard herself admit, before biting down on her bottom lip.

"You would if you knew him as long as I have." Metro Man replied gravely.

She almost cheered when their meals arrived, since it meant time to eat in silence instead of talking. This 'date' hadn't really gone any way she had hoped, or somewhat planned. Megamind had been brought up, and seeing just what Metro Man thought of the villain was interesting. He didn't seem to be a fan of him, yet he didn't out right dislike him either. So what was it? A mutual understanding that in order for good to be around, bad had to exist, or was it more vice versa? Roxanne had read the news reports, when Megamind had attacked the red school house... how the Warden spoke of the boy being a bad seed, and that he had to be kept away from the other prisoners because he was such a destructive force. Yet all she could see, in that photo of a little boy peering out from the back of a bus, was a child being left out of something.

Being left out of life.

Maybe that was why he acted out the way he did, because society had labeled him as such? Roxanne was shocked that an idea had leapt upon her like that. What was she thinking? Megamind had been a thorn in her side, a pebble in her shoe, and a run in her stocking since she began working for the news. Megamind had swooped in, like a bat out of Hell, and had stolen her away to a secure location to merely draw Metro Man out of hiding. She had witnessed the two battle, Megamind wearing some kind of metal helmet with a magnet attached, and had controlled bits of metal in an attempt to bind Metro Man. It hadn't worked, naturally.

From there, the battles only continued to escalate. Every week Megamind had a new plan and launched it in attempts to destroy Metro Man yet every single time he would loose. Why didn't he just accept his plans failed? Did he know nothing else but being bad?

It was almost sad.

But then she remembered just how many of her days, and plans, he had ruined by kidnapping her and she easily stopped caring about him, or what made him become the way he was.

And she most certainly decided here and now, that Metro Man was definitely not her type. His heart was in the right place but his mind was somewhere else entirely. While he didn't show it much, he was obviously a little self absorbed. She had saw the way he played for the crowds. All for attention and praise, sometimes just showing up to a new show or something in his white costume and people would go crazy for him. There was even word of a Metro Man Movie in the works, inspired by the Metro Man Musical that had taken Broadway by storm a few years ago. It was still playing now, still popular. This was a man who stood in the public's eye, forever a shining beacon of hope, light, and justice. He cared for all of them, and protected them from Megamind and all the 'evil' plans he had in store for them on the day he got into power.

If he ever did.

It was just a loop. Megamind breaks out of jail and attacks, Metro Man defends, Megamind is thrown in jail, Metro Man is praised... and then it went back to the beginning. Somewhere in there she was thrown a few times, used as bait, as a pawn, and she meant little else to the megalomaniac. He was just a super villain, and was content in with what he was just how Metro Man was content in being a hero.

If only they'd asked her if she was content to be the damsel in distress for the rest of her life.

"Excuse me." she said half way through the meal, "Um. Ladies Room." Roxanne added to which Metro Man nodded, and she scooted off towards the ladies. Once reaching the ladies room she sighed and leaned against the sinks, looking at herself. "Well. Great date, huh?" she asked herself as she began fixing her make up. "Can't even go a night without talking about Megamind..."

Behind her a stall opened up and a young woman stepped out. She wore a skin tight black dress with a plunging neckline, and wore a blue necklace around her neck. Her hair was long and black, tied into a plait and would no doubt turn heads easily. Sashaying her hips as she walked up to the sink she looked at herself, before glancing at Roxanne.

"Uh. Hey." Roxanne said, a little used to people noticing her from the news.

"Date, hm?" asked the woman, voice smooth and sweet to the ear.

"Oh hah! Yeah, maybe? I don't know." she admitted.

"So wait, are you on a date or aren't you?" the woman asked, turning to look at Roxanne as she leaned her lower back against the sinks. "It can't be that hard to understand."

Why was the woman being so nosey, and why did she sound so annoyed? "Well it was more like an experiment then actual attraction." she admitted, "He's a nice guy, I can't deny that but I just don't think-"

She was suddenly scanned with something blue and Roxanne realized why the woman had seemed so familiar. Those green eyes had been unmistakable, how could she have missed it? Roxanne was about to say something when the world went black, Minion, also disguised but not the centre of her attention, had sprayed her with the knock out gas and caught her. Megamind, the woman in black, snorted as he put his hands to his curved hips. "A date Minion. A date! She's on a date with _him!_" he announced, voice shrill and his own now.

"It's what people do, Sir." Minion said, wearing the body of an older woman with blonde curly hair and a pink dress.

Megamind frowned before pulling out his De-Gun from the black purse he wore over his shoulder as Minion threw Roxanne over his shoulder, still strong despite wearing his disguise. "Well, this date is officially over." he said with a sneer before adjusting it to De-Stroy and pointed it to the wall and pulled the trigger. The blast rocked the restaurant, and by the time the people were getting to their feet Megamind, Minion, and an unconscious Roxanne were fleeing from the bathroom to the invisible car which was just parked outside.

Roxanne was placed in the back seat as usual, potato sack thrown over her head, and Minion got behind the seat as both he and Megamind turned off their disguise generators.

"The _nerve_ of her!" Megamind yelled, slamming his fist on the dashboard. "I can't believe it!"

"Oh come on Sir," Minion said as he put his foot to the floor and the car sped off through the streets, expertly avoiding the cars already on the road. "people go on dates all the time!"

"Not Roxanne!" snapped back the alien, turning in his seat so he was looking down at her. "She even bought a new dress for the occasion! And stockings Minion, stockings! And I'm NOT upset about the date!" he said suddenly, turning back in his seat and sitting properly, folding his arms over his chest, which was raising and falling while he was trying to gain control of his composure.

"No?" asked the fish, dubious of his bosses' claims.

"No! We go to the trouble of going to her apartment to kidnap her and she's not there! She has HIGHLY inconvenienced me!" Megamind pointed out, shaking a finger at his friends face. "Just who does she think she is, going on a date!"

"It's not like she can book around our kidnapping exploits, Sir..." Minion said slowly, unable to help a small smile on his face at just how put out his boss was at the fact Roxanne and Metro Man had gone on a date together. Try as he might to hide it from himself, even Minion could see that Megamind 'liked' the reporter far more than he let on. Course, it wasn't his job to point out his bosses' feelings, especially those revolving around the star reporter. His job was his name. A Minion. "Well anyway, what are we doing talking about all this? We have a plan to play out!"

"Yes, yes you're right." Megamind said with a nod, lifting his collar up so it was sticking up against the back of his head where it belonged. "Of course! That dumb headed buffoon is no doubt searching for Roxanne already! Quickly Minion, to the Evil Lair!"

"Yes Sir!" Minion grinned, and drove off into the night to enter into the cycle that involved himself, Roxanne, Metro Man and of course, Megamind and the city.

Just another day in paradise.

**The End**


End file.
